Self Help Relationships Shortcuts Advise
You To Move Beyond Your Ego-Self!

To truly benefit from the self help relationships advice on this page, it's helpful to realize that the most important relationship we ever have is the relationship with our self. Once we've taken care of that relationship, all other relationships will be harmonious and loving.

What do you think of yourself and how do view yourself? Do you approve of yourself and who you are? Or do you constantly criticize, devalue or condemn your thoughts, words and actions? Do you get angry with yourself often or do you really love yourself?

Let’s do some digging and find out, then you’ll have an opportunity to change, if you so desire. Remember that love comes from inside of you and you must love yourself before attracting reciprocal love from another. Use these self help relationships shortcuts to reclaim that knowledge

'If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond your ego and the internal dialogue. Make a decision to relinquish the need to control, the need to be approved, and the need to judge. Those are the three things the ego is doing all the time. It's very important to be aware of them every time they come up.' Deepak Chopra - www.chopra.com

Self Help Relationships Shortcuts – Issues and Energy

If you're looking for a more peaceful life experience or for ways in which to increase your ability to attract a mate, then dealing with your personal issues is a very good place to start. Consider the statements below and if any of them apply to you, then you’ve come to the right place:

• You get angry easily

• You're inconsiderate

• You get anxious often

• You feel a sense of guilt

• You can’t stand being alone

• You don’t really love yourself

• You're a jealous or envious person

Use these self help relationships shortcuts to help you to solve your personal issues on these subjects. Everyone has them, you, me and the majority of the world’s population has some personal issues. And it’s up to each person to decide whether they want to deal with their issues or not.

Remember, at the base level, everything is energy and everything is thought, thought is energy, they’re one and the same thing. The choice of changing how you choose to feel about something is tied to your beliefs and thoughts about it, and thus always remains firmly in your hands.

To really benefit from these
self help relationships shortcuts,
understanding how your ego creates
pain and suffering is very helpful.

Due to previous arguments and disagreements with people, you’re still holding a grudge or resentment towards them; so you have unresolved issues from the past. And now, that old hurt or wound hangs around in your system energetically and psychologically, until such a time that you do resolve it.

You'll know if an issue is still present within you because anytime a similar challenge to one you had previously arises, the old issue will raise its head and cause the same discomfort and pain as it did previously. This gives you another opportunity to see it and, if so desired, to change it.

Self Help Relationships Shortcuts – Introducing the Ego-Self

There's no point trying to solve any problem by treating the symptoms. Sure, you can find temporary relief through taking medications and treating the symptoms and thus, temporarily, escaping from the pain or you can go directly to the root cause and deal with it once and for all.

The reason why these issues arise and continue to manifest in our life is due to the personality construct of our physical mind or our ego-self (ego). Thus, to solve any problem, eventually, we need to get to the root cause of it, which is the action of our mind that’s controlled by our ego.

Our ego is that part of our physical mind which consists of memories from our past experiences. Our ego only has access to the past and the present, and one of its functions is to record the past in order to assist us in making decisions to protect our physical being in our now reality.

Challenges arise when we unconsciously rely on this past data to interpret meaning in our now reality, a reality that’s in a constant state of flux or change. Thus, meeting and interacting with people and perceiving events must be spontaneous, in real time, and not tainted by the past.

Our ego is not bad, but if overburdened it becomes negative and it will continue to be the cause of pain and suffering in our lives. Thus, our work is to convince our ego through awareness and understanding that its place is as an adviser to self and not as a controller of our thinking.

'Thinking, or more precisely identification with thinking, gives rise to and maintains the ego, which, in our Western society in particular, is out of control. It believes it is real and tries hard to maintain its supremacy. Negative states of mind, such as anger, resentment, fear, envy, and jealousy, are products of the ego.' Eckhart Tolle - www.eckharttolle.com

Self Help Relationships Shortcuts – Action of the Ego Mind

Let’s say that you have frequent arguments with your partner or maybe you often get angry when someone in front of you drives too slowly or cuts in front of you. Whatever makes you angry, the reason for the anger is because your ego believes it is right and the other person is wrong.

Or maybe your partner goes out with friends, and all the time they're gone you're running imagined scenarios, in which your partner is unfaithful, through your head. From your loving partner’s perspective they went out and had some innocent fun with their friends, they did nothing wrong!

Meanwhile, due to your jealous nature you're at home thinking about your partner being unfaithful and mulling it over in your mind. As more and more thoughts arise you get more and more anxious, until you eventually convince yourself and believe that your partner is being unfaithful.

And then, due to the jealousy brought about by the unconscious action of your ego’s control of your mind; when your partner returns home you confront them and accuse them of being unfaithful. Then an argument ensues causing pain and suffering for all those involved.

We need to look at this very closely now. The scenario you played in your head was not your partner’s reality, it was your own imagination fueled by your ego. So you got anxious or angry over a story that you created in your head or I should say, a story that you allowed your ego to create.

In other words YOU created a fictitious story, a non-reality, and then YOU got angry over it. That, my friend, is self induced insanity.

Through this self help relationships shortcut, I ask you:

Is this kind of behavior really serving anyone in your life? And would it be better for all involved for you to move beyond the insanity created by your ego-self, by becoming aware of and changing the action of your mind?

The Solar Plexus Chakra holds the energy
of personal growth and transformation.

Self Help Relationships Shortcuts – Catch Yourself Now

If you’re not aware of something you cannot change it, thus awareness is the key to understanding the problem and to being in a position where you can change it for the better, thereby regaining control of your mind.

To begin doing this, the next time you realize that you’re about to get angry, over anything at all, see if you can catch the angry thought, by being aware of it and then just dropping it. Or simply acknowledge it, thank it and let it go by focusing on something else.

The first few times you do this, you might realize just after the fact that you’ve been angry. At this stage, it’s important not to get angry with yourself that you missed the angry thought and maybe even spoke in anger. Awareness of being unaware is awareness all the same.

That awareness is good progress and soon, with continued practice of these self help relationships shortcuts and reminders, you’ll begin to catch the angry thought as and when it arises and you’ll have the ability to let it go and focus on a positive thought, before any angry words are spoken

'A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror.' Ken Keyes, Jr. - 1921 - 1995

Self Help Relationships Shortcuts – Gentle Reminders Work Best

Because the essence of all of your thoughts gets reflected back to you in your daily life, if you desire loving relationships think loving thoughts often. Once you get into that habit you'll be happy and feel good often and hence, you’ll begin seeing more positive results in your life.

If you catch yourself thinking unwanted thoughts often, realize that your ego still has some control of your thought process and that you've more work to do in the area of ego awareness. Be assured that positive change will occur, but it may not happen overnight.

And remember: rather than being frustrated, annoyed or angry at this realization, take control by gently reminding your ego of its place by refusing to pay attention to those unwanted thoughts. And eventually their power of attracting similar thoughts will naturally diminish

If you’re finding it difficult to feel good about yourself, read someone else's ideas on changing your mind on this feel good about yourself page.

Self Help Relationships Shortcuts – The Free Will Mirror

In each moment of our existence we have a choice, a choice of what to think. We all have free will and thus, the ability to decide and choose to think positive, loving and harmonious thoughts or negative, destructive, divisive, self-centered or egotistical thoughts.

The one thing we can be assured of is that the essence of whatever thoughts we’ve paid most attention to will be reflected back to us through the Universal mirror of our life experience. When we judge our self or another, we’ll see judgment reflected back to us in the mirror of our life.

If we’re not satisfied with the reflections we’re getting in any moment of our lives it’s up to us to initiate the required change, by thinking different thoughts and by only paying attention to wanted subjects.

The impersonal mirror serves
to unerringly reflect back to us
whatever we’ve been thinking about
and paying the most attention to.

We initiate change by offering and paying attention to different thoughts and by using our imagination to only focus upon wanted scenarios. And we must do this in spite of any and all of the unwanted scenarios and circumstances occurring right before our eyes.

The current unwanted reflection came from our past thoughts, so once we refuse to continue thinking those thoughts the reflection must diminish. Thus, change and a different, preferred reflection must arise once we begin thinking new thoughts from a consciously aware state of being.

Only then can the Universal mirror of our life begin to offer a different reflection to us. There will be a time delay, but ultimately, the mirror must and so will change. But this can only happen if we change first!

'If you persist until you see exactly what you want to see, fix your position with the glue of feeling and remain there - it will be reflected on the screen of space, just as your world is now reflecting the fixed state from which you are viewing it.' Neville Goddard – 1905 – 1972

Self Help Relationships Shortcuts – Being Present

Anyone truly interested in exploring relationships must begin to realize that everything and everyone is connected. No one lives in isolation that is impossible. Understanding relationships is really about understanding yourself and how, in essence, all relationships are spiritual in nature.

Once we see how the ego operates, we realize that ego is not who we really are, so it's much easier to move beyond it. And once your ego is no longer in control of your thinking, you'll be at peace with yourself and will spend more time in the present moment, the only moment there ever is.

Considering that there really is
only the present moment, it makes
perfect sense to me, even rationally, to
be happy now and feel good always

And being present more of the time, you'll spend less time worrying about the past or the future and you’ll begin to allow all that you say you want to naturally and effortlessly flow to you. Read this self help topics page for more information and to go deeper into the eternal moment of Now.

Self Help Relationships Shortcuts – Loving Yourself

When you truly love yourself it doesn’t matter where you are or who you are with or even if you are alone, you are always at peace with yourself.

Conversely, you don't love yourself if you're continually at war with your own thought process. If you repeatedly get angry with yourself because you’ve allowed your ego to think unwanted thoughts, then there's no room for love because where there's anger, love is not.

If you're inquiring about self help relationships because you want to meet and share some time with a romantic partner or to improve an existing relationship, then I highly recommend reading this self help relationship page about loving yourself and being real.

And if you’re considering getting married, you may want to read this self help marriage page. Ultimately, meeting your ideal soul mate will result in experiencing the epitome of ecstasy, bliss and love. This confidence self help page suggests ways you can prepare you for such a meeting.

And finally, if you’re currently alone and you’d like to meet a romantic partner, these self help relationships shortcuts suggest moving beyond your ego and just continue being and enjoying yourself and your life and then you'll meet someone, guaranteed

REMEMBER - YOU GOTTA BELIEVE IT!