A confidence self help test for anyone who feels that it’s time to meet and hookup with a real partner. As far as romantic relationships go you’re mature because you’ve experienced many relationships, and yet up to this point none of those relationships were what you’d call ideal.
Sure you’ve had your share of fun, good and bad times, love, happiness and pain, but upon deep inner reflection none of your partners really hit the spot for you. Still, you stayed in some of those relationships primarily because you felt it was better than being alone until the pain became unbearable.
And now, after several, sometimes shallow, romantic hits you’re eager to meet and share some time with a real partner, a deep lifetime friend. The suggestions outlined in this confidence self help test will help you to prepare yourself for meeting such a true friend a soul mate to share ecstasy and real love with you
Whatever romantic relationship situations or experiences you’ve been through in the past, after your last romantic encounter rather than rushing out and looking for someone to fill the emptiness you were feeling, you probably decided to take a step back for a while.
Sure you did. You stepped back for a month, six months, a year, five years or for however long, it’s really not important. You did this because a part of you realized that in order for you to attract and experience true love in your life; you first had to find a way to truly love yourself unconditionally.
That is to say, you've realized that in order to connect with and share true love with another, you’d have to do what it takes to be happy, feel good and love yourself first. And you realized that part of the process of self love means being OK with your own company by being happy and feeling good on your own.
Yes, you knew that you’d rather be alone than with a partner who doesn’t love themselves. Because you’ve understood that it’s impossible to share that which you do not know you possess or that which you’ve covered up with something else, as discussed on this self help relationship page.
Fantastic, you love yourself and you know who you are. Now, for those people wanting a romantic partner the next step of this confidence self help test is identifying the kind of person you’d like to share some of your life with, your soul mate. If you’re vague about your own preference then that’s the reflection you'll get. Hence the kind of person that the impersonal Universe will most likely bring to you will also be vague.
Thus the sooner you identify the kind of person who meets your preference the sooner you’ll meet the person you prefer. Take your time with identifying the kind of person you desire. Not because deep down you don’t already know, but rather because in really thinking about this you’ll have an opportunity to identify any self-limiting thoughts and beliefs which may be holding you apart from your ideal soul mate.
Be honest. We all have preferences and our preferences determine the kind of people we’d like to spend our time with. You like the looks of this person, but not the looks of another. What’s wrong with that? Outside of any judgment coming from other people and yourself, nothing’s wrong with that - it’s your preference nothing more and nothing less.
Remembering that we all create our own version of the reality we want to experience, by believing and trusting, realize that you can definitely meet a soul mate who looks as you prefer, has the kind of personality you prefer and has a body shape and style that you really like. So this confidence self help test says get practical.
Cut out photos from magazines and make an image book containing pictures of your ideal partners and/or search for images which meet your preference and save these to a folder on your computer. You can then browse these pictures often to reinforce the image you're creating in your mind, and thus are sending out to the Universe through your imagination. You could even add these pictures to a screensaver as explained on this free self help article page.
Join free online dating services. Not necessarily with the intention of meeting anyone from them, but rather to identify the looks and physical attributes of the kinds of people you prefer. Save the images you find in your user account's 'custom hot list' or 'favorite’s folder.'
Remember, you’re not searching; you’re building up an image of a perfect person who fits your preference. Have a light, happy and care-free attitude with this practical confidence self help process. And remember that there’s no outside judgment of your choices and preference other than you because there’s no outside judge!
Indeed, the only judge or censor of your own preferences is you. That’s right, so if you’re clear about your preference, the only things preventing an exact match or a soul mate from coming into your life right now are your own self-limiting thoughts and beliefs, which cause negative feelings.
Suppose you’re a 40 year old man and you’d like to have a relationship with a woman who's 25 years old or perhaps you're a 38 year old woman who prefers men who are 12 or 15 years younger. The idea of that kind of relationship simply strongly attracts you. That’s what feels right to you, so it's your preference. There’s not really anything else to say about this it’s merely a preference.
In our limitless, boundless Universe we certainly can choose the kind of partner, any kind of partner, who fits our preference, but do you really believe that? Or do you have beliefs which are counter to your own intention of meeting the soul mate of your dreams? Let’s find out.
Whenever you think about and imagine having a relationship with the kind of person you prefer, notice how it feels to you. And notice any related thoughts which are running through your mind too. Does it feel good or are there any negative feelings associated with your thinking pattern?
Your thoughts on this subject are causing these feelings within you. If you have no issue with the idea of meeting a soul mate consistent with your preference and you always feel good about it, then your meeting with that person is imminent and not far away from realization, congratulations
However, when considering such a relationship if you continually and consistently output feelings which don’t feel good to you, then you’ll automatically attract circumstances which won’t feel good to you either. And so the cycle of the lack of your preferred relationship will more than likely continue.
Now, let's suppose you’re attracted to a person who’s a lot younger or a lot older than you or someone, who in your estimation, is too good looking for you. Or perhaps they’re from a different cultural background or they’re higher or lower on the artificially perceived social scale, it doesn’t matter!
You’re attracted to and you want a person like that and you genuinely believe that a relationship with the kind of person you prefer and desire is possible, fine. Now, become aware of and recognize that at the same time you may have many thoughts going on telling you why it’s not possible.
This kind of mental action is what I call a short circuit because you’re countering your own intention. Thus, you’re not a vibrational match to the person of your own preference and so you’re limiting the probability or blocking the possibility of meeting this person due to your conflicting thoughts and beliefs.
Now, through this confidence self help test let’s identify some common self-limiting thoughts and beliefs:
Consider the confidence self help test statements listed above or identify and replace them with your own self-limiting thoughts and beliefs. Then ask yourself: how do I know what anyone else is thinking? What does it mean anyway and who is it that cares about what other people think?
The answer is it’s your own personality and sense of self who cares about these things, that part of you who fears, worries and believes in outside influence and judgment. And that means there’s still a residue of your ego-self that’s exercising some control over your thinking process.
While to a large extent you may have ceased judging external things and people - devaluing and judging yourself is judgment nonetheless. The ego-self, if it has become negative, is the part of you which compares measures and condemns. Its actions are very subtle and that’s why constant awareness of your thoughts is prudent!
Please take a moment to contemplate and realize that we live in a meaningless Universe. Think about it, ultimately, who else imparts meaning to your life other than you? It’s like our whole life is a blank meaningless slate onto which we inscribe meaning. Therefore, it’s up to us to provide everything in our life with the meaning that feels good to us.
Hence, if you really think about it the statements above don’t mean anything, because they don’t contain any built-in meaning of their own. Thus, the only meaning any of them has is the meaning which you impose upon them. So what if anyone has any negative thoughts about you?
So what if someone thinks this or that about your preference, why does it matter to you? Realize that those who think in terms of judging your preference, by definition, have not dealt with their own negative ego-self. And therefore, their judgment will be reflected back to them guaranteed!
You might feel inspired to read through this self help marriage page before committing to a long term relationship, as it offers more suggestions on choosing the perfect kind of romantic relationship partner.
Know that in truth all versions of the kinds of romantic partner you desire are available to you. You’re the creator of the reality you experience. And consciousness being infinite and unlimited always contains and will yield to you whatever kind of relationship that you want to explore always.
Realize therefore, that the soul mate who comes into your experience is someone who’s been working their way to you in the same way that you’ve been working your way to them. All of the events of both of your lives have led to your meeting and soul connection how cool is that
Remember that consciousness is at the root of everything, consciousness is one. There’s no real separation there’s only different perspectives or points of view of the same one consciousness. All reality springs forth from consciousness and there’s nothing outside of consciousness.
An important message of this confidence self help test is to realize that when you have a desire for something it came from consciousness. Thus, by its very nature the counterpart of your desire automatically, by definition, does exist - the desire always contains its counterpart.
Even if you can’t quite see this, you have to find a way to believe that an ideal partner or soul mate does exist for you, in the same way that you exist for them. And your only real work is to relax into this knowing and do your best not to worry or doubt a positive soul connection.
While we can create rules which control the parameters of any game, such as football, baseball or soccer etcetera, we have no control over the in the moment action of any of the players of the game. Everyone has free will to choose and to decide how they’ll play the game in any given moment.
In a similar way, we can deliberately control the essence of what the Universe will bring to us in this game of life, but we have no control over the individual people who’re players within it. Everyone has their own preferences and free will and they can and will choose their own actions.
Let’s say that you’re fixated on a particular person whom you believe you simply must have as a romantic partner. You could spend plenty of time devising ways in which you believe you’ll somehow be able to manipulate this game and get that particular person to be with you - that’s misspent time!
If you like someone of course you must express your interest in them and tell them that you’d like to share some time with them. But if for whatever reasons they’re not interested in you, you’re simply not their preference so stop wasting time in romantic pursuit of them, be friends with them by all means.
Holding on to an obsession will make you crazy and only serves to keep what’s wanted away from you. Think of it this way: the longer you spend pushing against a wanted circumstance that won’t serve you anyway, the longer it will take for the Universe to line you up with your perfect match!
And do you really believe that Universal consciousness doesn’t know, even better than you know yourself, who’s a perfect match for you? The all-knowing Universe has a soul mate lined up for you, who’s even better for you than you can imagine yourself - believe it!
If you meet someone who seems to almost fit your preference but the true feelings of love are not present within you, then that’s probably not your ideal person or soul mate either. You could still choose to spend some time with them or even enter into a relationship with them. But all of this sideline activity will not bring you closer to your ideal soul mate, unless of course you’re not yet ready for a soul mate!
If you are ready then why accept anything less than the right person, a true soul connection, your soul mate? Use your feelings and discernment to know when you’ve found your soul mate, your other. And bear in mind that once the timing’s right and only at that time can the person of your dreams enter your life and not before. So in the meantime, please relax and enjoy your life while knowing that, ultimately, your soul mate will materialize into your life guaranteed!
Click this image to get a FREE PDF article entitled "Observation of Love" in which I do my best to outline a perspective of Love. Once the new window has opened up, you can read the article or save the file to your computer. Enjoy.
And finally - to you using this confidence self help test to assist you with realizing and connecting with a soul mate who’s perfect for you
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